DRWF FORBIDDEN 16 RECAP! WEEK 2
UPSETS AND SHENANIGANS AT THE F16!
The second week of the F16 has finally wrapped up, and from where I was sitting in the arena, this was a grim week for most. Especially for me. I blew this weeks assignment budget betting on the PARTY ROCK MAFIA! My number 2 dumbest moment thus far, Number one was interviewing something they call “DANHAUSEN”.
“The Foreboding 16 is WONDERFUL. You have 2 blocks, filled with people who could not beat DANHAUSEN, and they all fight for weeks and weeks. DANHAUSEN has won this torunament 3 three times myself. Most matches are just ‘DANHAUSEN DON’T HURT ME!’ and when the referee’s back is turned, I PUNCHED THEM IN THE GROIN! But DANHAUSEN cannot compete this year, for I am helping the STOKLEYHAUSEN run this company.” This interview went on for Ninety Minutes.
Last weeks BRIMSTONE BLOCK was a hunting ground for larger prey. This week the prey struck back, and with viscous intent. WILL OSPREAY mounted a spectacular comeback in his match, which KEITH LEE dominated for the better portion of the contest. CALVIN TANKMAN posted a new record in his match with MATT SYDAL. TANKMAN scored the fastest win in the history of the Men’s Division, completely obliterating SYDAL in 3 minutes and 11 seconds. SYDAL could not be reached for comment. Along with OSPREAY, PAC was able to get the better of his larger opponent, POWERHOUSE HOBBS, putting the big man down with the BLACK ARROW. And in the MAIN EVENT, DAISUKE SEKIMOTO was able to stop the momentum of one of the BRIMSTONE BLOCK’S Most Favored fighters, MONSTA MACK. SEKIMOTO and TANKMAN both lead the block with 4 points a piece, while SYDAL and HOBBS still fight on for their first win.
The HELLFIRE BLOCK was a show of numbers this week, as every competitor has somebody in their respective corners. After last weeks proceedings it makes sense to this journalist. With so many egos in the HELLFIRE BLOCK, it might be best to come with some backup just in case. In the opening contest, EDDIE KINGSTON brought a Five Boroughs sized beating to YAMATO, who most likely is still dealing with last weeks post match assault at the hands of SHO. The following match, SHO defeated the UNGOVERNABLES’ own ANDRADE EL IDOLO in a brutal contest, that left ANDRADE taking multiple stiff elbows to his head. SHANE STRICKLAND supposedly tapped out in his match with TAKASHI SUGIURA, but I didn’t see it happen from my angle. More about that in a minute. The main event saw JAY WHITE take on the biggest man in the block WALTER, to no success. WALTER steamrolled JAY. HELLFIRE BLOCK stands SHO and WALTER leading with 4 points, and YAMATO and JAY WHITE chasing W’s.
On DRIVE we saw multiple instances of slow counting referees. From what I had gathered these are referees from Referee’s Union, an organization started by TIM WHITE, that is now operated by EARL HEBNER as head official. The union stands to give the OFFICIALS fair work practices, job security and benefits, and in return the referees provide unbiased and fair officiating, with a zero tampering policy to make sure a ref can only be in the pocket of the union. These Union refs even go to special to avoid getting bumped. This week they acted out of character. We reached out to a representative of the union, but none returned our calls. So the jury is out I guess. Until next week.